Taking Back the Fairy Tale…
Dear friend,
The old fairy tales were not written or recorded by royals. Common people made them up and passed them down through generations. They did it to remind us all that we are precious—and that we can succeed against all odds.
I picked the title Princess Awakening for this saga because I believe that we are in a time of awakening to the value of young women and other marginalized communities. We’re also in a time of collectively recognizing injustices done against them and finding new paths forward. So, my friend, I hope that reading this series empowers you to see the greatness of your own value—whatever your circumstances might look like now.
You are worthy of opportunity and empowerment and support.
You are worthy of second chances.
You are worthy.
If you are in the middle of a struggle, then know that you don’t have to struggle alone. Reach out. Connect. Receive help.
There is healing and light ahead for us all.
And there is only one you. As one of my favorite songs from Jingle Jangle goes, “The world needs to see you smile.”
I think the old princess tropes are embedded with many of the hardships faced by marginalized communities today. If you want to wrestle through some of those ideas with me, then read on. Also, if you want to explore some organizations that are helping women through challenges or trauma in powerful and different ways, then scroll to the bottom of the page.
The universal princess stories
My princess story does not follow a typical Disney movie plotline. In fact, it delves into some of the horror-like aspects of being a princess.
It’s a story that wrestles with the fact that young women are sometimes asked to meet unbelievably high expectations and at the same time are given painfully few opportunities. It’s a story that acknowledges that young women can sometimes feel so trapped and isolated in the need to look like a perfect princess that the only outlet they feel they have is self-harm. And it’s a story-turned-saga that says young women are worth way more than that.
They are change-makers.
They are leaders.
They are human.
The princess is a survivor
In the old fairy tales, a princess could pretty much expect to be violently attacked. An ogre might kidnap her, a dragon might try to eat her, and a stepmother might ask to cut out her heart. Being a princess involved a race for survival.
In the stories, other characters tried various tactics to address this problem. Some put the princess in the tower, an isolated shelter of dangerous ignorance and ineffectiveness. Others tried offering marriage to the princess as a reward for whatever Bearskin or George came along to rescue a damsel in distress.
Even more scary, a fairy-tale princess had to reckon with her own sense of self-worth. In many stories, the greatest act of a princess was to willingly sacrifice her own life. Let’s recognize them:
Iphigenia
Andromeda
The Little Mermaid
Una
Zelda
Thank goodness, modern feminists have fought back!
But wait….
The rescuer problem
A common response to these cringy tropes is to take the rescuer out of the story. Let the princess save herself. This makes for some badass heros, like Rae, from Star Wars.
But that’s too simple a fix.
Look at real life: What about the women of our times who are trapped in sex trafficking? What about the women who can’t escape domestic violence for fear of more? What about the women of our times who are being put in cages apart from their moms and their babies? What about the women of our times who are being shot in their homes?
Those women need to have someone — a lot of people — fighting for them.
No one should ever face those kinds of troubles alone.
The princess is always a princess
The biggest problem with princess tropes is that the princess is just not considered valuable enough. Kings will trade her to boost their political power. Stepmothers will enslave her for their amusement. Creepy suitors will trap her for their economic leverage. Witches will even curse her for pretty random reasons.
But there’s the one good thing about princess tropes:
She is always a princess.
She can never stop being a princess. It doesn’t matter what happens to her. It doesn’t matter what choices she makes. She is always special. She is always enough. Most of all, she is always herself. Unless she wants to become something even greater…
The only guaranteed way to stop being a princess is to become a queen.
Investing in women today
Let’s change some of those princess narratives. Let’s invest in her thriving, her leadership, her power.
The following organizations are some of my favorite groups that help and empower women who have experienced hardship or trauma. Whether you’re looking for help or to help, please, check them out!
Restore NYC is one of the nation’s leading organizations supporting international survivors of human trafficking.
Loveland Foundation provides a fund supporting Black women and girls to get therapy support from Black therapists.
Immigrant Families Together helps post bail, find housing and reconnect families who were separated through undocumented crossings at the southern US border.
Courtney’s House supports survivors of human trafficking and works to protect youth in the D.C. area.
National Indian Child Care Association provides advocacy, education and support for Tribal childcare options (because moms—and dads—should never have to bear this responsibility alone).